The room above is our dining room A.K.A. playroom, which is a common backdrop for blog photos, but loyal readers may not recognize it as it hasn't looked like this since August 2008. While we have enjoyed some fun family time in this long, holiday weekend, it's been a near-constant battle of wills to get the boys to listen and do what they're told. The delicious Thanksgiving dinner John's mom cooked us was a circus, they were so naughty on our trip to Great-Grandpa and Great-Grandma's on Friday that they were told there would be no dessert for a week, we had to leave church early when they would not listen to me and quit poking people's legs under the pews (among other things), and the final straw was tonight's dinner where all our calm but firm instructions fell on deaf ears and they finally saw their pasta dumped in the garbage and were sent from the table (in tears.)But even that wasn't enough to make the point because they repaired to the living room and started in on two things that are expressly forbidden--taking metal trucks in the play tent and going in and out of the tent without unzipping the flaps (leading to strain, and eventual ripping.) John saw this from the kitchen and stormed in to take the tent down, telling them he was giving it away to kids who know how to listen to their parents. Ed did not listen when John told him to move away while he was folding it up and sending them out of the room just led to gales of giggles. (They're both nervous gigglers when in trouble, which is amazingly infuriating!) So they were sent to their bedrooms, doors closed.
While cleaning up dinner, I hit upon the idea of clearing out all the toys before inviting the boys back down to their new toyless existence. Luckily we had some empty boxes in the basement. What an amazing amount of crap!
After this was done, we called them down and told them to walk through. Upon entering the dining room, Ed said, "Oh! It's completely empty!" and Daniel echoed, "It's a-pletely empty!"But instead of wondering where their stuff was or how to get it back, they started playing with the empty cube shelf (lower right in the picture above) so that John had to pick it up and take it out of the room as well. It was not the impact we'd hoped. They were sent back to their rooms, which led to pajamas and early bedtime.
Our plan is that as they demonstrate good listening they will be able to earn back one item (or category, as in, games, coloring, stuffed animals, etc.) We're not talking about overnight transformation, but not responding to every instruction with "No" or "Why" will be a good start. I imagine it will be two steps forward and one back for a while (forever?)
In a way, this is just a more comprehensive version of the stealth toy removal I've undertaken in the last few weeks in preparation for Christmas and birthdays. We are guessing that at least a quarter of what went to the basement will never be asked for and will not return.
A highlight of the weekend was the boys' overnight with Grandma and Grandpa Kenyon on Friday. We had planned it in advance but could never have imagined how much it would be needed after the frustrations they gave us on the trip. John and I enjoyed a lovely dinner at a new(ish) restaurant with NO KIDS MENU and slept almost until 8 a.m. Saturday (this is major, trust me.) When we went back to get them after naps, Daniel raced to the door with huge hugs for both of us. Edward was more nonchalant. But a few minutes after we got there, Daniel said to John, "You had to leave us at Grandma and Grandpa's because we were naughty in Chariton." Not exactly the message we were going for. John reminded him that we'd been talking about the overnight all week and that being naughty had nothing to do with it, but that may be lost in the world of three-year-old logic, such as it is.
We ended our night tonight with snuggles and stories and reminders of how much we love them. Here's hoping for a better tomorrow and week ahead.
